The Story of Sixpence
Ever wonder how that rascal of a mime ever made his way to…well…whichever universe you’re in? Well, you’re in luck, here’s a bit on the history of Sixpence the Mime!
Chapter I: Mime Your Manners
You know how they say certain genders come from different planets? What nonsense, who would believe such hogwash? Everyone knows there’s only one group of people truly alien to the human experience, completely removed from our world and seemingly living in a world of their own: Mimes. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, mimes are actually aliens and, in fact, they come from the floating island-planet Merveille in the Kazooland dimension. For you see, on Merveille in the city of Bip, was born Sixpence the Mime. An odd child born with a sinister mustache, poor Sixpence doesn’t remember much of his childhood except being kept indoors and listening to the Steam-Powered Giraffe vinyl his father gave him to keep him occupied. Inspired by the soothing storytelling and magical melodies emanating from the vinyl, he decided he wanted to be famous and entertain the masses, though of the mimes of Merveille thought him annoying at worst and, at best, a bit of an idiot. Sixpence spent his time training and training, hoping to one day be a great entertainer and a memorable mime.
Chapter II: Don’t Mime Me
After many decades of actually trying to gain the respect and admiration of his fellow mimes without success, he decided that the only real way he was going to make a name for himself was to do something deliciously sinister. This act, of course, was to steal two of Merveille’s most sacred artifacts: A space-time traversing umbrella left behind by unknown beings and the mystical kazoo which saved the city of Bip from the Great War. After stealing the umbrella, Sixpence was infamous and even, strangely enough, considered a cunning mastermind by his peers and even other criminal geniuses of the multiverses. He traversed through various dimensions and times, using his newly-acquired con-man skills to cheat, steal and outright trick his way through space-time until he came back to Bip in order to steal the prized kazoo of legend. However, having kept tabs of him through contacts elsewhere in Kazooland, the Mime Police were waiting for him at the scene of pre-planned crime. They then arrested him, with the Mime Courts silently sentencing him to 50 years in a reinforced invisible box right in the middle of Bip’s city square.
Chapter III: I’m Losing My Mime
One day, out of seemingly nowhere, a mysterious and drunken figure calling himself Mr. Saturday appeared inside the box itself, hailing from a land called “Earth”. Mr. Saturday explained that he was still trying to figure out his Aetheric Transport Cane and had somehow mistakenly landed inside Sixpence’s box-cage. Realizing soon enough that the prison was made only for mimes, Mr. Saturday simply lifted the invisible box over Sixpence’s head and lead him on a great escape, offering to transport him away from Kazooland and to many great adventures, which Sixpence readily agreed to without hesitation. To this day, Sixpence owes a life debt to the mysterious monogoggled gentleman, a debt which Mr. Saturday himself regrets from time to time.